Facebook to launch new social networking site for intellectuals called Facepalm

In a surprising news we got from Palo Alto based world’s number 1 social network that they are to launch a new Social Network for intellectuals and their fans based on their current website, this site will be called “Facepalm“, which will be launched in a few weeks from now.

In a private hangout with some selected tech bloggers Facepalm’s chief technological engineer Hugo Strange told press that this website is being developed for years, so intellectuals can enjoy discussing and creating the things they love without being interfered by normal people who disguise themselves as fans. However the intellectuals can add the fans on site only after they are approved by the intellectuals. The rest can not sign up….

Mr. Strange has revealed with press some interesting information about site’s name.

It’s called facepalm because it connects two most important aspects of the facebook powered site of intellectuals. The face stands for facebook and palm represents the palm used widely in Indian palmistry, which I found one of the most talked topics while I was in India two months ago.

To be user of this site you have to be a proved intellectual, Mr.Strange told further.

Normally intellectuals write and discuss about stuff normal people don’t know about. And they have practiced to develop their language to a level no body ever cares to reach, and thus it makes them or their language disgusting to normal users. But we understand them, it’s a matter of their pride and their years worth of hard work. And that inspires us to create a social network for them where these kind of normal people can not interfere your process of creating your world- Said Mr. Strange as a reply to a question.

At the said hangout we have got a chance to see how this site works and we are pretty amazed to have a hands-on-experience on the new site. This site looks and behaves a lot like it’s parent social network facebook, where you have profile designed similarly as facebook. Later on the presentation we have learnt from Mr. Strange that this is the same profile page from facebook, with a more emphasis on users’ intellectual side.

Apart from other work experience we at facepalm would like to know what you write, sing, compose and talk about. Thus if you are a columnist, a blogger or a presenter we will first show such information to our users and even when you are creating or editing your profile you will be first asked to enter such information. Because this is your life, this is you care about, the job or the family of intellectual may come later. When you are working for greater cause you should neglect such roadblocks. Mr. Strange added.

According to our little experience it’s easy to be on facepalm if the user is active on facebook and have already crossed the friends limit. Apart from early preview we have and some users in US will enjoy for the rest of the year, all other users must have some conditions to fulfill if they want to be part of the social network. The conditions as of now are

– User must be part of facebook for atleast one year (This condition can be eased after some time)

– User must write, sing and discuss something, and he must have indicated these activities in their profile.

– There are several hashtags that user has to select, lying in two categories – One Compulsory and other Optional – User has to choose atleast two from compulsory and three from optional. After selecting it, user must post atleast one daily post stating hashtags from compulsory fields. For optional fields this limit is atleast thrice a week.

– If you don’t do any intellectual activities? Don’t worry, you still can be part of facepalm. Just be fan of some intellectuals who already are on facepalm or applied to be on facepalm. And talk atleast twice a day about them and visit and comment their profile four times a week. Than an intellectual is notified about you. If they confirm your existence, you will be the part of facepalm.

– Facepalm has developed language learning feature that automatically reads such status and understand how much meaningful it is. Than it computes meaningfulness to likes ratio. The higher it is, sooner you will likely to be qualified for facepalm. (You can refer this sentence as the guideline for such status).

– As intellectuals don’t handle criticisms easily, every comment like “You suck”, “This is shit”, “You are retard” and profane comments will automatically applied sugar coating and will be converted to “Go on, but you can do it way better”.

– Apart from like there will be other action like, This is awesome, you rock sir, hahaha and others. Even you can add some actions as template so you don’t have to write the same statement for every posts.

– In facepalm there can not be blocking, or reporting. Intellectuals can identify the profile as troll or identify the status as pure piece of shit. However there was a suggestion that the side should use this is absurd in place of pure piece of shit, but Mr. Strange suggested that there are some intellectuals who thinks absurd is good. So we dropped that suggestion from day one.

– It’s most likely that some intellectuals are only talking to and talking about those people/event whom they feel comfortable. Facepalm can identify them and will automatically create groups of such people called niches . And you don’t have to care about the trolls and peace of shit outside your created niche.

– You can easily move your content back and forth from facebook and facepalm, but there is a limit to export your content from facepalm to facebook. Mr. Strange explained that every content generated on facepalm should not be exported to facebook, if you have such content and people usually care about it should be on facebook, and if they don’t there is no point to export it to more general people.

Upon answering questions about users’ content, ownership and security Mr. Strange was at ease, citing there is nothing to worry about. The level and language of content will be such high that not only the normal users but engineers of facepalm will not be able to catch it, and thus nobody will be interested. Thus there will not be plagiarism facepalm that you daily face in facebook. And as nobody is interested, user’s content will only belong to user. You can’t even think of stealing it, because such holy things can never be sold, Mr. Strange told in a joly mood.

From the development of past couple of weeks, people also worried about backdoor data requests from surveillance agencies. As an answer Mr. Strange revealed that these agencies are too busy decoding picture of cute cats, couples, gods and starving and unhealthy people in third world that they will not even pay attention to the content generated here. You can easily talk about hidden advertisement by Angelina Jolie of her charity project in her movie “Salt”, and not even Brad Pitt will care about it.

Several people in that hangout asked Mr. Strange why such popular network like facebook launches just another network for some special proof of people rather  than keeping those people in facebook itself. In a reply facepalm’s user experience engineer Ms. Marry-Shelly Powers points some pseudo competition from Google’s own social network Google+.

People are more flocking to Google+ because here they are not catching up the height of information and languages many intellectuals possess. On the other hand intellectuals daily complain to facebook about trolling and copy pasting hammer their creative process, forcing them to shift their attention to orkut or myspace. We need to create a solution that makes both normal people and intellectuals happy, and as a result of this years long process, we present Facepalm.

We were tried to ask both Mr. Strange and Ms. Mary-Shelly powers about launch date and other features of Facepalm but suddenly we are cut off from hangout. There were some technical problems and later we received a mail from Mr Strange and Ms Powers that there were some unexpected arrival of some big names of facebook, forcing them to abandon the hangout. They also stated that there soon will be an official press event and within some time of now this site will be launched. They will send an invite to several intellectuals from India, US and China whose profiles are being scanned for atleast a year for potential data of intellect.

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7 Comments

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  1. Facebook to launch new social networking site for intellectuals called Facepalm | My Faking News

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